Where are the boundries?

Friends.... you love your friends and will do anything for them. Calls late at night to chat, doing things above and beyond to help, dragging yourself out of your bed even if you are ill to help, smiling when your down as you do not wish to drag your friends down with you... and then you do it.... you get pissed.... and get physical. Then the lines get blurred. You have the chat about being friends with benefits and you think that's great. Then the going above and beyond gets expected.... your still expected to be mates and talk about mate things when your wanted and be helpful when your wanted as well as being physical when your wanted. It's great at times as it boosts your confidence, makes you feel happier in your skin, gets you out of your normal routine. The physical gets better and better and you think maybe just maybe things can progress... then you get a slap in the face that reminds you that you will never be the slim, tanned and you will never be the demanding head case that is expected. You will always be the token girl in the group of men who is asked to the pub the drink pints and play pool. You will get invited to weekends away camping but then there will be the new slap 'can you just'.... you know what no I can't. You want me come and get me! I am a bloody lovely person and I am a great catch for anyone so if it is no emotions you want then it is no emotion you will get!! I can love so much and give so much but at the same time I can also be an ice queen. Yes I will smile on the outside but to save pain I will be cold on the inside. I will just hold out for the person who wants to feel that warmth and no it will not be a girl! :) So Mr right who ever you are hold on to your heart as its mine to keep warm!

Why?

There is plenty I could type on here but in all honesty I do not have the energy. I have had enough of being the happy one and the one who is strong and right now I am just the one who is fed up of being single and wanting to have someone to talk to or not talk to depending on the case! So hey this is me fed up!

Room With a View

Well I have had enough. Why do we bother? Life is full of ups and downs, well when the fooking hell am I gonna get an up? Any up will do. Is it too much to ask? Millions of us work to live which is beyond annoying. We cling to the hope that one day someone will notice, one day someone will pat us on the back, one day someone will tap us on the shoulder, one day will be an up day. It's bollox. You work you graft and you die. You put your all into everything and some twat will come along and crap on you from such a height that by the time it hits you its a blanket. Not just a little spattering but a blanket. No holes no oxygen no day light shit blanket. There are the few people who send you texts and emails and little msn messages that pick up your spirits, make you think there is a hole somewhere in the shit balnket. So you keep trudging and feel happy that someone out there cares enough to send you little messages. The shit blanket starts to feel lighter. You are happy as someone is going to pop over and see you. They have been laughing with you through your shit blanket for years. Your spirits lift and you even start to smell the flowers through the shit. Then a new blanket falls. This one you know well. This is the stood up blanket. You have worn it before with previous men in your life. You swore you would never be hit by it again. Never feel that empty again. Well guess what! You fooked up. It crept up and found you. You don's stodd with being stood up once though do you! No you get stood up by a second person, but hey you give him the benefit of the doubt and guess what you get stood up on Monday too but you are nice about it and then guess what it happens again on Tuesday. So I give to me the award for being the biggest sap on Hecate's great earth. You are a mug. A twat. A great big fat sap. Yet again you have been treated like a mug and you have given up your free time, which is rare, on these people. Well done. Give yourself a pat on the back as no one else will. Get me a bath chair and hand me some green jelly and I will sit by the windown and watch the rain. No interaction needed. Could not hear you through the shit blanket anyway.